Walk into an Orthodox church for the first time and you will see several people in robes doing visibly different things, and no one hands you a program explaining who is who. The short answer: there are three orders of ordained clergy in the Orthodox Church: the deacon, the priest, and the bishop. The deacon assists and leads the people in prayer but does not consecrate the Eucharist — Communion, the bread and wine that truly become the Body and Blood of Christ. The priest serves the Divine Liturgy, the Church's main Sunday service, and the other Mysteries (Sacraments) in his parish. The bishop heads a whole diocese, ordains everyone else, and is the one from whom the priest receives his commission to serve. Around them stand readers, subdeacons, chanters, and altar servers, who are not priests at all.

And the part you are actually nervous about: a priest is Father; a deacon is Father Deacon, or often just Father; a bishop is Your Grace and an archbishop Your Eminence. If you want a blessing, cup your hands, right over left, and say, "Father, bless." We walk through it below. If you get any of it wrong, nothing bad happens. Every Orthodox priest alive has been called something odd by a nervous visitor and thought nothing of it.

The Three Orders: Deacon, Priest, Bishop

The three orders are not a later invention; their names and their ministry are already in the New Testament. Diakonos means servant, and the Church has long seen the pattern in Acts 6, where the apostles set apart seven men, praying and laying hands on them, to serve the widows of the community. Presbyteros means elder, and stands behind the English "priest"; St. Paul left Titus in Crete to "appoint elders in every city" (Titus 1:5). Episkopos means overseer, and stands behind "bishop"; the qualifications for that office are spelled out in 1 Timothy 3. In the apostolic writings episkopos and presbyteros are sometimes used of the same men; the three orders appear clearly distinguished by the time of St. Ignatius of Antioch, at the turn of the second century, and so the Church has understood them ever since.

Each order is conferred by its own ordination, one of the Mysteries (Sacraments) of the Church. It is always performed by a bishop, by the laying on of hands, and for the three major orders within the Divine Liturgy, before the whole congregation, which acclaims the new clergyman with the cry Axios! (AX-ee-os) — "He is worthy!" A bishop is never ordained by one man alone: the ancient Canons of the Holy Apostles — an early collection of Church rules that the Council in Trullo formally received as authoritative — require two or three bishops to ordain him.

A man normally moves through these stages in order — reader, subdeacon, deacon, priest — and bishops are normally chosen from among priests. The fullness of the ministry rests with the bishop.

What Each One Actually Does During a Service

The deacon moves constantly between the altar — in Orthodox usage the whole sanctuary area behind the icon screen, not just the table in it — and the congregation, chanting the petitions ("In peace let us pray to the Lord") and calling "Let us attend" before the readings. He swings the censer, filling the church with incense; he often proclaims the Gospel, and leads the people's prayer. He does not consecrate the Eucharist, and never serves alone. Spot him by the orarion, a long narrow stole over the left shoulder, which he lifts as he chants. Many parishes have no deacon, and the priest says his parts.

The priest presides at the altar. He says the priestly prayers, offers the anaphora — the great eucharistic prayer, at whose heart the Holy Spirit is called down upon the bread and wine — and gives communion. He also baptizes, chrismates (anoints the newly baptized with holy chrism, sealing the gift of the Holy Spirit), hears confessions, anoints the sick, marries, buries, and preaches. He wears the epitrachelion, a stole hanging down the front, and over it the cape-like phelonion.

The bishop, when present, presides over everything, and the service visibly reshapes itself around him. He is unmistakable: the omophorion, a broad band over the shoulders and the chief sign of his office, plus a mitre, a panagia medallion of the Theotokos — the Virgin Mary; the word means "God-bearer" — on his chest, and a pastoral staff.

Apostolic Succession in Plain Terms

Apostolic succession sounds technical and is actually simple. Christ chose the apostles. They laid hands on men to continue their ministry — St. Paul reminds Timothy to stir up the gift of God in him "through the laying on of my hands" (2 Timothy 1:6) — and those men laid hands on others. Every Orthodox bishop alive today was ordained by bishops who were ordained by bishops, in an unbroken line back to the apostles; your parish priest was ordained by a living bishop in that line.

This was already the Church's public argument in the second century. St. Irenaeus of Lyons, writing against the gnostics, says that "we are in a position to reckon up those who were by the apostles instituted bishops in the Churches" and to trace their successors to his own day (Against Heresies III.3.1).

One clarification, because newcomers sometimes hear this as a mechanical pedigree: succession is of the apostolic faith as well as of ordination, and a line of hands cut off from that faith is not what the Church means by succession.

Why the Bishop, Not the Parish, Is the Basic Unit

If you come from an evangelical or non-denominational background, you probably picture the Church as a collection of congregations. In Orthodoxy the basic unit is the bishop together with his people gathered around the Eucharist. (A Catholic reader will find this familiar; there too the diocese and its bishop are basic.) St. Ignatius of Antioch, a bishop martyred early in the second century, wrote the sentence that has shaped Orthodox thinking ever since: "Wherever the bishop shall appear, there let the multitude also be; even as, wherever Jesus Christ is, there is the Catholic Church" (Epistle to the Smyrnaeans 8). "Catholic" here means whole, not Roman Catholic.

You can see this on the altar table. Under the Gospel book lies the antimension, a cloth bearing an icon of Christ's burial, usually containing a relic, and signed by the bishop. It is his written permission for the Liturgy to be served there; without it the priest does not serve. Every parish Liturgy is the bishop's Liturgy, celebrated in his absence by the presbyter — the priest — he has sent. That is why the priest commemorates his bishop by name at every Liturgy.

A group of parishes under one bishop is a diocese; a family of dioceses under one mother church is a jurisdiction, which is why the sign outside says Greek Orthodox Archdiocese, Orthodox Church in America, or Antiochian Archdiocese — a difference of language, music, and custom rather than of faith, explained in our guide to why there are different Orthodox churches. Sacramentally every bishop is equal to every other: the titles metropolitan, archbishop, and patriarch describe the scope of his responsibility and the honor of an ancient see — the city a bishop is bishop of — not a higher grade of priesthood. Our parish finder can help you locate a church.

Married Priests, Celibate Bishops

Yes, most Orthodox parish priests are married, and the priest's children may well be in the pews or serving in the altar. The Church kept the older discipline. The Council in Trullo (692), which the Orthodox Church receives as authoritative, willed that "the lawful marriages of men who are in holy orders be from this time forward firm" (Canon 13). The Latin West followed a different discipline, and the Latin Church today ordains only celibate men to the priesthood, with some exceptions; the Eastern Catholic churches in communion with Rome have kept married priests, as we have. Both traditions honor marriage and celibacy; the difference is one of discipline.

The rule that surprises newcomers is about timing. A man must marry before ordination, not after. The same council ruled that it is not lawful "for any subdeacon, deacon or presbyter after his ordination to contract matrimony" (Canon 6). A seminarian settles, before ordination, whether his path is marriage or celibacy; a widowed priest does not remarry and continue serving. Scripture's requirement that a bishop be "the husband of one wife" (1 Timothy 3:2) is read in the Church as excluding a second marriage, not as requiring marriage.

Bishops, by settled practice, are celibate — ordinarily chosen from among monastics, or from widowed priests who have been tonsured as monks. Canons 12 and 48 of the same council pressed bishops to live apart from married life, and over time the Church drew them from the monasteries. A monk who is also a priest is called a hieromonk.

Readers, Subdeacons, Chanters, and Altar Servers

Several people you will see serving are not in the major orders at all.

  • Reader (Greek anagnostes) — a man set apart by the bishop in a short rite called a tonsure, in which a little hair is cut as a sign of dedication, to read the Epistle and the appointed psalms. It is a minor order, given by a blessing outside the Liturgy rather than by ordination within it.
  • Subdeacon — the highest minor order, between reader and deacon. He assists at the altar, and at a hierarchical service — a Liturgy served by the bishop himself — he attends him, holding the vessels and vesting him.
  • Chanter or cantor (psaltis) and the choir — those who sing the services, in many parishes laymen and laywomen with no ordination.
  • Altar servers (acolytes) — unordained, often boys and young men, who light candles, prepare the censer, and carry the tall round fans used in processions.

Who fills these roles varies from place to place. Whether women and girls read, chant, or serve in the altar is settled by the local bishop and, within his guidelines, by the parish; where they read, they do so by his blessing rather than by tonsure to the order of reader. The ancient Church also had an order of deaconesses, which fell into disuse rather than being abolished; whether it might be revived is discussed in some Orthodox churches today. The Church has not settled that question, and it belongs to the bishops.

How to Address Clergy

WhoWhat you say
Priest"Father," usually with his first name: Father John
Deacon"Father Deacon," or "Deacon John"; in many places simply "Father"
Bishop"Your Grace"; also "Master," Despota (THES-po-tah, Greek), Vladyka (vla-DEE-kah, Slavic), Sayidna (SAH-yid-nah, Arabic)
Archbishop or Metropolitan"Your Eminence"
Patriarch or primate"Your Beatitude" or "Your Holiness," depending on the church
Ecumenical Patriarch of Constantinople"Your All-Holiness"
Reader or subdeaconHis first name, or "Reader John" / "Subdeacon John"

Heads of churches vary: some patriarchs are "Your Holiness," and a metropolitan who heads his own church may be "Your Beatitude." Your diocese's website prints the form used for your own bishop, and you are unlikely to need any of these on a Sunday morning.

Priests and deacons often carry honorific titles earned over years of service: archpriest, archimandrite, protodeacon and others. In conversation all of them are still "Father," and you are not expected to know which is which. Usage varies — Greek parishes ordinarily use "Father" with the first name, some Slavic and Antiochian parishes the surname. Outside of a service you often cannot tell a priest from a deacon at a glance, since both may be in a plain black cassock. "Father" is safe for either, and nobody minds being asked.

By phone or email, the traditional opening is not "Hi Father" but "Father, bless" — asking a blessing rather than offering a greeting. To a bishop, open with "Your Grace" or "Your Eminence." A traditional closing is "Kissing your right hand," though "In Christ" is entirely ordinary. One point surprises converts: laypeople ask clergy for a blessing rather than pronouncing one on them, so "God bless you, Father" becomes "Father, bless." If you have said it the other way a dozen times, no harm done.

Presbytera, Khouria, Matushka: The Priest's Wife

The priest's wife has a title of her own, and which one depends entirely on the tradition of the parish:

  • Presbytera (pres-vee-TEH-rah) — Greek, from presbyteros, elder
  • Khouria (KHOO-ree-ah) — Arabic, from khoury, priest; common in Antiochian parishes
  • Matushka (MAH-toosh-kah) — Russian, literally "little mother"
  • Elsewhere: Preoteasa (Romanian), Popadija (Serbian), Panimatka or Dobrodijka (Ukrainian)

These are titles of affection and respect, not an office. She is not ordained and has no liturgical role by virtue of her marriage, though in practice she often carries much of the parish's life. If you are unsure which word your parish uses, ask her.

How to Ask for a Blessing

This is your most common interaction with a priest, and it takes four seconds.

  1. Approach him when he is not in the middle of serving — as you arrive, after the service, or at coffee hour — and bow slightly.
  2. Cup your hands at about waist height, right palm over left, both open and facing up, as if you were being handed something.
  3. Say, "Father, bless." To a bishop, say "Master, bless" or "Your Grace, bless."
  4. He makes the sign of the Cross over you and places his right hand in your open hands.
  5. Kiss his right hand and step away.

Two things make sense of this. First, as he blesses, the priest holds his fingers in the shape of the Greek letters IC XC, the abbreviation of "Jesus Christ." The blessing is Christ's, not the man's — which is also why the state of the priest's own soul does not make a blessing more or less real. Second, you kiss his right hand because that hand holds the Body and Blood of Christ at the altar: the gesture venerates what he serves rather than flattering the man, and belongs to the same family as kissing an icon — see our article on the kiss as an act of reverence.

People ask on arriving at or leaving church, before a journey, or before something difficult. Visitors and inquirers are ordinarily welcome to ask as well: in most parishes you need not be Orthodox to receive a priest's blessing, and if you are unsure, ask the priest. If it feels like too much on your first Sunday, "Good morning, Father" and a handshake is fine. No one is keeping score.

Your Parish Priest and Your Spiritual Father

These are often the same man, and they are not the same thing.

Your parish priest is the presbyter your bishop has assigned to your parish. He serves the Mysteries, preaches, buries the reposed — the Orthodox word for those who have died — and is pastor to everyone who walks through the door, including you on your first day. You do not choose him.

A spiritual father is the one to whom you open your heart: the priest who hears your confession, knows the shape of your struggles, and whose counsel you have freely chosen to trust. For most Orthodox Christians this is simply the parish priest, and that is the normal, healthy starting point. For some it is a monastic, or another priest agreed upon with the parish priest's knowledge.

Practice varies more than newcomers expect. In Greek tradition, hearing confession requires the bishop's specific authorization, and a priest so authorized is called a pneumatikos; not every parish priest is one, and you may be directed elsewhere. In much Slavic and Antiochian practice in North America the parish priest hears his own flock's confessions. Ask — the answer differs by jurisdiction and even by parish.

One caution that Orthodox writers stress: a spiritual father is not a guru and not a replacement for your own conscience. The relationship is built slowly, obedience within it is freely given rather than extracted, and a healthy spiritual father points you to Christ rather than to himself. Our article on spiritual fathers in Orthodoxy goes deeper — and if you are new, start with your parish priest.

Common Questions

Doesn't Jesus say to call no man "father"?

He warns against seeking honorific titles out of vanity (Matthew 23:9). The Orthodox reading is that He addresses pride, not vocabulary — St. Paul tells the Corinthians he became their father in Christ through the gospel (1 Corinthians 4:15). Calling a priest "Father" names a relationship; it takes nothing away from God, who is the source of all fatherhood.

What do I call a priest if I don't know his name?

"Father." It is complete on its own and always correct, as are "Your Grace" and "Your Eminence" for a bishop. Non-Orthodox visitors may use these too, and may ask for a blessing.

How do I actually get to talk to the priest?

Email or phone the parish office, say you are new and would like to visit, or simply introduce yourself after the Liturgy at coffee hour. Priests expect this, and it is not an imposition.

Can I just shake a priest's hand?

Yes — many priests offer a handshake to visitors first. Asking for a blessing is the Orthodox custom, not a test you can fail.

Are Orthodox priests allowed to get married?

A man may marry before ordination, and most parish priests are married men with families. After ordination he may not marry, and a widowed priest does not remarry and continue serving. Bishops are celibate.

What do I call a monk or a nun?

A monk who is also a priest is "Father." A monk who is not may be "Father" or "Brother" depending on the monastery, and a nun is usually "Mother" or "Sister." Usage differs from house to house; ask at the gate.

Should I kiss the bishop's hand?

It is the custom, but not compulsory, and a bishop meeting a nervous visitor has seen every variation. Do what you can do sincerely.

Further Reading

  • The Orthodox Church — Metropolitan Kallistos Ware (Penguin). The standard introduction; strong on Church structure.
  • Welcome to the Orthodox Church — Frederica Mathewes-Green (Paraclete Press). A warm walk-through of parish life for the total newcomer.
  • Six Books on the Priesthood — St. John Chrysostom (St. Vladimir's Seminary Press). The fourth-century classic on what ordination asks.
  • For the Life of the World — Fr. Alexander Schmemann (St. Vladimir's Seminary Press). The Church as a eucharistic community.